Monday, July 2, 2007

The Innocent Thief

First things first. I'm still here but am operating on a serious sleep deficit. Picture me swooning around clutching a coffee mug as though it were as essential as oxygen, hair askew from being pulled by little hands, and a pretty darn surly attitude to be honest. Those happy prancing people around me must get sleep without someone trying to rearrange their face in the night.

It finally happened. At 31 years old I became a shoplifter. I am innocent I tell you. I know every hardened criminal sings the same song from death row. I stole something by accident. In my defense I ended up paying for it at another store that sold the same product. Hmm sounds mysterious. Anybody who has ever gone racing thru a store throwing items in the bottom of the stroller can relate to this sort of incident. I did have a sun hat and wipe cloth hiding in the bottom of the stroller and they obscured the last item. Said item was found a day later at another store while I was at the register. I paid for it as though I plucked it off their shelves. Secretly wondering if my picture is plastered up at the other store with the offer of a reward. Is mommy brain a legitimate defense in a court of law? Slap some mommies on the jury and I bet I walk.

Now for a pretty picture. I have become obsessed with this project and find I am unable to finish anything else. The new yarn doesn't match perfect, thanks to the capricious nature of hand dyers, so I am staggered the yarn at 5 repeats per ball. So of course the section I am working on is looking as though I may not finish, yet I have so much of the other yarn ball it makes me wonder about true yardage. Some yarn labels do say under ideal conditions yardage is X. What? Ideal conditions? Must be a mommy brain sweatshop. This points out the fact that I need a kitchen scale that measures in grams with a digital output. No room for errors here people this is yarn!


zippiknits said...

Mommy Brain is a clinically recognized malady. No jury would convict.

Diane's Playground said...

Just like all to know that I shopped with our author at a yarn store this weekend and followed her relentlessly to ensure there were not more thieving incidents...;) Yeah right, our girl? NEVER!!! Plus, do any of you really think I could actually follow her in a yarn store? No matter how small that store was with many wonderous things I've never heard of managed to fit in it? Nope. No following possible.